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From Mom: Sorry for the delay. It has been a busy morning and finally getting chance to sit down and give some updates.

With the help of amazing doctors, nurses, family, friends, prayers, and hugs it appears we may start making the turn we need.
In your White Blood Cells ( I call WC or White Count) there is a number they call the ANC. This is the actual part of the cell that fights off infections. That number had to be over 500 before they would ever ever consider sending her home. Today it is at 700.

Now that doesn’t mean she is packing her bags. It does mean with that number up, she is in better position to fight off the infections. It also means her bone marrow is rebuilding itself.

She was very agitated this morning. Last night they put in a line to drain some water off. And it has done a great job thus far as fluids continue to come off. When these fluids come off, she will be able to move better and moving better will over all help her mood. She wants up! Which I am going to take as a good thing. She wants to go home. So with that to work with, we can push her to do things she may have been resisting before. She is fighting.

We should start to hear some results back today about the procedure she had yesterday and this will help them target the infections better. It may take a few days for complete cultures to come back but it begins to rule out things she no longer needs.

She is still fighting fevers but that means her body is fighting. Her Oxygen level has stayed well enough she hasn’t needed to be on a vent but just a flow of air…I think they said at 4 liters..if that means anything to some of you. Her heart rate, although higher at rest then they like, didn’t increase much when they sat her at the side of the bed and moved her into a chair. And when in the chair, it comes down from @ 135 to the low 120s. The high heart rate is her fighting the fevers and the water retention.

Matt joining me did wonders. I was able to sleep knowing there was an extra set of eyes and ears through the night. I am not sure if he is able to stay tonight but I do know he does need to go back tomorrow as Heather has to work, as does Randy so he will be with the dogs. Unless we have Dex go to someone’s house and say during a few hours of transition. Stupid dogs! But goodness we do love them.

I will keep you updated as I can. Remember no news, means good news and when things go down hill, I go to panic and start to reach out to others. Me no panic = things going better.

Thank you again! You all have been so amazing to help lift me, Jen, Randy, Jess, Matt, and Heather up. We couldn’t do it without you.

Love ya all!

Posted on by rallytogetherwithjengmailcom

I sit her in this dark room, listening to the sound of oxygen pushed through a tube. To the sounds of iv ticks, I didn’t know existed not so long ago. To the sound of Jennifer quietly whimpering in her sleep as she tries to breath.

The tiny tree glows in the corner of her room. I haven’t put the decorations back on because I fear I will angrily pull them off if they move her to another place in the hospital. But I let the light fill the room and refuse to unplug it even as we sleep.

I try to wrap my head around tonight why she must suffer like this. And why I must watch. Why I am apart from so many I love in this room the nurse says they try to make it feel and look like home. She doesn’t know what she is talking about. The nurses want me to not stand close by and attend to her every need but who are they kidding? What else would a mom do in a time like this?

I try to not scream when I hear or read someone complain about something to me now seems so trivial. Why can’t they see how blessed they are? I want to be blessed in this moment the same.

God forgive me for my doubt and anger. I am trying to trust. But I’m hurting like nothing I’ve ever known