Day 0
Although Jennifer has been admitted today, she is not at day 1…as they haven’t started her chemo. I don’t understand when they know she was to be admitted today, why they didn’t schedule the things she needed done to start chemo. We got here just after 7am and got her room at 9am. And then…we waited.

It wasn’t until 4 pm they did her pic line, that wasn’t ordered until late morning. They got her xray done at 5pm, also scheduled today. She needs an echo done also and they won’t start chemo until she has one. Her echo isn’t until tomorrow morning. …so no chemo today.

Jen is anxious to get this going. She would have started last week if she could have. She has a birthday two weeks from today and does not want to spend it here.

We learned today her donor is ready when she is….and the pliminary plans is she will start transplants as early as late February. ..probably beginning-mid march. We have many weeks of Columbus in our near future.

Jen’s numbers today were still in the normal range so she continue to feels pretty good.

It has taken nearly 10 weeks, but for the very first time I saw Jen have anger. She knows the stress of this long stay is on not only her, but me, her dad, her brother and sister, and the pets. And whether it is guilt, anxiety, or fear, she finally burst. She is in such need to know she has not only us here for her, but also a need others are here for us. But even more so, for her. I try to be her mountain, her wall of strength but she sees through this sometimes. Even now I fight hard to not cry in front of her and she tries hard to comfort me.

More then anything in this world, I want for Jen to know she is loved. I want her to never doubt that. Today I am trying hard to to wrap her in as much love as I can give . But mom’s love is not enough. She needs more then I can give.

Prayers for her. For her siblings, dad, pets, and me. Cancer sucks!

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