The ugly word of cancer many have experienced. Some fights long, some short. Some with positive outcomes, some not. Cancer has changed our entire lives, and it has become easy to feel alone. We are now on the other side of cancer.
We start days slow now. The rush is not tolerated well by Jen. If the day has an early start, the afternoon becomes slowed down. We seldom can plan anything too far in advance because likelyhood of canceling is high. The moment we think we have a completely free day, we are often met with a complication that changes that. Runs to the doctors, ER, or pharmacy happen several times a week. And plans to the store, to get laundry done, or maybe a church social change on a dime.
We watch on social media our friends and family take vacations, go to work, and celebrate holidays. We dream when we can do the same. Going out to eat and Jen feeling well from start to end is an accomplishment. The drive to Lima seems long for her…. the drive to Columbus she dreads.
As we plan Jen’s party, we have forgotten the world has not stopped. Plans for vacations, family weddings, and other events have filled up the calendar of many of those we invited. And it’s hard to not feel alone or disapointed. But we are on the other side of cancer and we can’t expect those who arent here with us to understand. It is why the words ‘cancer sucks’ is said daily here.
I have promised myself to never forget what this side of cancer feels like. And to remember those who walk this after us, know they can count on me. I promise to do my best to ring their doorbell with dinner or to ask if I can help in any way. I promise frequent messages to let them know I think of them often. And when I close my eyes at night, I remind myself how blessed I am to be back on the easier side of cancer. I wish for others to know, without ever having been on this side, they are blessed. Do not take for granted vacations, Monday mornings, and casual drives to Lima. Remember celebrations, church socials, and lazy summer days are fleeting.