Maybe Day 1 yet today….

This morning a new doctor on Jen’s case came to see her. A new look at her brings a new view and a different approach. Although we were disappointed Jen didn’t start chemo yesterday, the delay may have been a blessing in disguise.

The doctor looked at her file before coming in and had a couple questions about why induction chemo and not consolidation. Because her counts remain well and because it seems as the cancer cleared up, so did the rashes, he wondered if she is actually in remission.

He shared with us there was a test that had not yet gotten back that is more specific at looking at the abnormal cells and determine if they are premature new growth cells or cancer cells. And he thought possibly some since her numbers are in average range, this very well can be the case. He also thinks possibly the rashes are leukemia in her skin and as her cancer improves, so did the skin.

So while waiting on that test result, Jen gets results of her echo this morning. Frequently, induction chemo can do heart damage. When young like Jen, the heart repairs itself over time. Jen’s heart showed some damage. Then earlier then expected, the result from her biopsy comes back. And it is a good news, bad news thing.

The good news is because the need for time to repair her heart, they think consolidation chemo is the way to go. This means five to six days in hospital and home. It is not as intensive, shorter stay, and saves the induction chemo for transplant. The bad news is she truly isn’t in remission, as the doctor had hoped.

So now with a different plan, she moves forward with 2 hours on chemo and 12 hours off and that repeats for five days. And to her delight, she gets to come home early next week and be home for her birthday.

We are definitely being blessed as Christmas draws near. All Jen’s counts are improving. Her pulse rate and respirations so much better. Her swelling going down. She is off the oxygen so she will get to shower today She had no fevers over night and slept much better and so did I. We found a place to board dogs over night this weekend! Thank you Donna Bendele at Five Star Pets.

Randy, Jess, and Matt are coming to Columbus to spend the weekend with me and Jen. Things are looking up.
Merry Christmas to all of you. We are so blessed this year with so much love and support!



Prayers Needed

Tuesday December 20 – day 21
Without going into a long drawn out explanation I’ll give a short summary.
1. Procedure to look in lungs found some infection they are treating as fungal phenomenon. This requires an strong antibotic that is hard on kidneys so watching that closely
2. Water retention is a big concern and they are trying to take it off without effecting her bp
3. If she isn’t able to maintain her breathing, she will be moved to icu with possible need to vent her.

If ever I needed prayers threw this hell, I need them now. ..I can’t tell you how scary this is. She has been irritated but still ok. Me, I’m all over the place.

Monday December 19
They are going to decrease the amount of Tylenol jen gets to see if this decrease her liver function numbers ( bilirubin ). They will use cold packs to decrease the fever.

She also has a decrease in urine. They will change meds up to see if that will help

They also are running a big series of blood panels to look for different flu/cold viruses. Until they have results we need to gown up with gloves and face protection (has a plastic shield up over eyes). We will know in 24 hours if we need to continue this or not. We sure hope not as it is very uncomfortable to be in for a long time.
Randy is going home this evening as he works tomorrow evening. Hopefully when he returns at the end of the week Jen has improved so much she will be ready to open some Christmas gifts.

This Friday the Patrick Vetter and Alex Warnement at the Main Street Market will be hosting a corn hole tournament with games starting as early as 3pm. You can pre register your team to pick your best starting time. Contact Jessica Crawford for more information. Registration fees will go to Jennifer to help her during this difficult time. Nothing would bring a smile to her face faster then to know her community, family, and friends rally together and bring her some much needed holiday cheer.

Let Go, Let God

Many years ago, I had a wall hanging that hung in the dining room in the house on Plum Street. I believe I had bought it at a home party of some sort. It had the words ‘Let Go, Let God’ on it.

To be honest I never really understood at that time what those words meant, so it makes no sense why I even bought it. Maybe it was the cheapest thing I could buy in the catalog and you know when you go to a home party, you feel you have to buy something.

It is just like me to not understand these words, as I always need to be in control. And I don’t fall asleep until I have sorted out everything in my mind. And last night, as I got into bed, I started trying to figure out all the how’s, who’s, and what fors. How was I going to put myself in all the places I needed to be in the coming weeks? How will I trust those who are in charge of Jen’s care? Who was going to take care of the pets? What will the outcome be? Where would I find the answers?

An old school friend had seen a post I made with a few of the things Jen had painted and inquired about those pieces. As we spoke, I told her some of those worries I had, including keep up financially. She suggested the Go Fund Me and I responded I have done ones before for other people but had hard time asking for us.

At 4am, Jen texted with message saying she would need a blood transfusion. I hadn’t looked at that last message my friend sent. I couldn’t fall back to sleep and got up and went out to my computer and started working on a few things I had left open to finish. I finish a picture load from a birth from a couple weeks ago and answered a couple emails. I opened facebook, where that message from my friend was still waiting to be read. Earlier the night before I had been trying to tell myself to give it to God but it was a struggle. I finally was able to fall asleep hoping God would answer some of my questions soon. I opened up my friends message, and soon it was made clear to me. She told me it was ok to ask for help and people will donate as sometimes that is the only thing they feel they can do to help and that I shouldn’t feel bad for asking. And it makes others feel good when they are able to do something. And in some ways by asking I was allowing people to feel good inside.

I knew it would take someone who could trade off with me to care for jen and duties at home. But I didn’t know who that would be. As I thought about it, I figured out that if Jen’s sister, who had accepted a new job that wouldn’t begin until mid December, was able to help me for the next few weeks it would help a ton. We would then be able to get help from Matt who would be starting Christmas break. The answer became clear. If I could provide her with some cash assistance, she could help me with all these things.

I created a Go Fund Me, and went back to bed and slept deep for the next couple hours. God led me to a solution and I needed to just have faith in Him. I needed to Let Go, Let God.

Please consider donating to Go Fund Me. I will also sometime this week set up a fund at the Fort Jennings Bank if you prefer to donate there.
For those who have already given, of time, prayers, kind words, or money I promise it has not gone unnoticed. Thank you.

Enjoy Life


I know we have all heard the saying ‘Life is short, so don’t waste a second of it.” But never do any of us think bad things will happen to us.

Leukemia is a word I never thought I would need to learn to spell, let alone understand. But yet here we are. I’m still holding out hope that Jen’s bone marrow biopsy points to something less scary as I know there still is that outside chance. But I am also thinking to the future dealing with all this. It is very frightening.

But I am going to make sure we make every day count and never let cancer take away us enjoying life. The first time I picked up a camera I really started understanding the words ‘enjoy life.’ I get lost in my camera sometimes. It is where I find my most peace. Somehow I hope I can still find that over the next several weeks. And I hope Jennifer can enjoy life even from a hospital room. That is all I really wish for her in this moment. Well that and to get well very soon.

I love you girl!!