Many years ago, I had a wall hanging that hung in the dining room in the house on Plum Street. I believe I had bought it at a home party of some sort. It had the words ‘Let Go, Let God’ on it.
To be honest I never really understood at that time what those words meant, so it makes no sense why I even bought it. Maybe it was the cheapest thing I could buy in the catalog and you know when you go to a home party, you feel you have to buy something.
It is just like me to not understand these words, as I always need to be in control. And I don’t fall asleep until I have sorted out everything in my mind. And last night, as I got into bed, I started trying to figure out all the how’s, who’s, and what fors. How was I going to put myself in all the places I needed to be in the coming weeks? How will I trust those who are in charge of Jen’s care? Who was going to take care of the pets? What will the outcome be? Where would I find the answers?
An old school friend had seen a post I made with a few of the things Jen had painted and inquired about those pieces. As we spoke, I told her some of those worries I had, including keep up financially. She suggested the Go Fund Me and I responded I have done ones before for other people but had hard time asking for us.
At 4am, Jen texted with message saying she would need a blood transfusion. I hadn’t looked at that last message my friend sent. I couldn’t fall back to sleep and got up and went out to my computer and started working on a few things I had left open to finish. I finish a picture load from a birth from a couple weeks ago and answered a couple emails. I opened facebook, where that message from my friend was still waiting to be read. Earlier the night before I had been trying to tell myself to give it to God but it was a struggle. I finally was able to fall asleep hoping God would answer some of my questions soon. I opened up my friends message, and soon it was made clear to me. She told me it was ok to ask for help and people will donate as sometimes that is the only thing they feel they can do to help and that I shouldn’t feel bad for asking. And it makes others feel good when they are able to do something. And in some ways by asking I was allowing people to feel good inside.
I knew it would take someone who could trade off with me to care for jen and duties at home. But I didn’t know who that would be. As I thought about it, I figured out that if Jen’s sister, who had accepted a new job that wouldn’t begin until mid December, was able to help me for the next few weeks it would help a ton. We would then be able to get help from Matt who would be starting Christmas break. The answer became clear. If I could provide her with some cash assistance, she could help me with all these things.
I created a Go Fund Me, and went back to bed and slept deep for the next couple hours. God led me to a solution and I needed to just have faith in Him. I needed to Let Go, Let God.
Please consider donating to Go Fund Me. I will also sometime this week set up a fund at the Fort Jennings Bank if you prefer to donate there.
For those who have already given, of time, prayers, kind words, or money I promise it has not gone unnoticed. Thank you.