I’m back here in Columbus with Jennifer. She is still making others on the transplant floor look bad as she has rolled through day +8 now without fever or vitals being an issue. Her and I went to the support group meetings they have here for patients and caregivers. The nurse and social worker were amazed someone at day +8 allogeneic BMT  (meaning non related donor) was up and going to a support group meeting.

Having said that, I can tell you Jen is feeling fatigued. She still cannot overcome this cough and she told me this evening she just can’t get comfortable and rest like she wants. She fought tears back while telling me this. So now I’m on a mission to find her some relief. I pride myself in being persistent. …. aka Momma Bear.

We found blessings everywhere we could find them today, …maybe more me than her. Her grandparents stopped in Columbus on their way back from Florida.  It is the first she has seen her grandpa since her diagnosis and first she has seen grandma since early December.

I also found a blessing or maybe knowledge I needed to find today at the support group meeting.  I had questioned us going as I thought maybe Jen would just want to rest. But we went. There have been times,  I hope for Jen to be excited about something or looking to go do something she has been wanting to do. I want the world for her and will move mountains to make it happen. But sometimes as I am spinning circles moving mountains, she just wants to stop, rest, and heal. For a while even small things can seem overwhelming.  Reading text messages and responding,  opening a card, calling her insurance company, or filling out a form. I find myself repeating to her what needs done like a mom of a teenager. I actually realized this has been ongoing for nearly a year. Which makes me wonder how long she fought low counts and fatigue. I thought before cancer this was due to laziness. After her diagnosis I thought it was a sign of her surrendering to her illness. I was wrong on both counts.”   It is cancer, chemo, and healing. I needed to learn that.

So prayers tonight for a quieted cough, less fatique, and patience on my part. She will get through all this. And so will I.


Day 4 of 7

Today is day 4 of the 7 days of Chemo.

Jennifer hasn’t been eating much over the last several hours. She is bothered by the smell of many foods. She also had trouble swallowing her meds. She is taking an anti fungal med, meds to keep her acid levels down, an allergy med for her rash, and meds to help with nausea.

Her mood is still very good. We went for a long walk last evening but as her numbers drop her energy levels will decrease.

Jen’s dad is coming down today and her grandma is flying in from Florida today to see her.

Please continue to keep her in your prayer

Upate – Tuesday, November 22, 2016

This evening Jennifer is headed to Columbus with her sister Jessica for early morning appointment with the clinical trial folks at the James. Thankfully they are able to stay with Randy’s aunt Diann. She is preparing them a late evening meal when they arrive which is super nice of her.

Jen overall felt ok today. She has a bit fatigued and light headed this morning but as the day progressed she felt a bit better.

A bit of bad news for her today was the place she was in contact with to harvest her eggs after chemo told her they don’t except her insurance. So I’m not sure if there may be another place she can do this with or if we will need to figure out how to pay for that out of pocket. The initial visit over $250 and without knowing additional cost from there it is definitely something to figure out. This is one of those things I need to let go and let God lead us to the answer. Prayers needed in that department.

We decorated today for Christmas and listened to Christmas music nearly all day. Every year we question why there are so many versions of the song Last Christmas, one of Matt‘ s least favorite Christmas songs.

Let Go, Let God

Many years ago, I had a wall hanging that hung in the dining room in the house on Plum Street. I believe I had bought it at a home party of some sort. It had the words ‘Let Go, Let God’ on it.

To be honest I never really understood at that time what those words meant, so it makes no sense why I even bought it. Maybe it was the cheapest thing I could buy in the catalog and you know when you go to a home party, you feel you have to buy something.

It is just like me to not understand these words, as I always need to be in control. And I don’t fall asleep until I have sorted out everything in my mind. And last night, as I got into bed, I started trying to figure out all the how’s, who’s, and what fors. How was I going to put myself in all the places I needed to be in the coming weeks? How will I trust those who are in charge of Jen’s care? Who was going to take care of the pets? What will the outcome be? Where would I find the answers?

An old school friend had seen a post I made with a few of the things Jen had painted and inquired about those pieces. As we spoke, I told her some of those worries I had, including keep up financially. She suggested the Go Fund Me and I responded I have done ones before for other people but had hard time asking for us.

At 4am, Jen texted with message saying she would need a blood transfusion. I hadn’t looked at that last message my friend sent. I couldn’t fall back to sleep and got up and went out to my computer and started working on a few things I had left open to finish. I finish a picture load from a birth from a couple weeks ago and answered a couple emails. I opened facebook, where that message from my friend was still waiting to be read. Earlier the night before I had been trying to tell myself to give it to God but it was a struggle. I finally was able to fall asleep hoping God would answer some of my questions soon. I opened up my friends message, and soon it was made clear to me. She told me it was ok to ask for help and people will donate as sometimes that is the only thing they feel they can do to help and that I shouldn’t feel bad for asking. And it makes others feel good when they are able to do something. And in some ways by asking I was allowing people to feel good inside.

I knew it would take someone who could trade off with me to care for jen and duties at home. But I didn’t know who that would be. As I thought about it, I figured out that if Jen’s sister, who had accepted a new job that wouldn’t begin until mid December, was able to help me for the next few weeks it would help a ton. We would then be able to get help from Matt who would be starting Christmas break. The answer became clear. If I could provide her with some cash assistance, she could help me with all these things.

I created a Go Fund Me, and went back to bed and slept deep for the next couple hours. God led me to a solution and I needed to just have faith in Him. I needed to Let Go, Let God.

Please consider donating to Go Fund Me. I will also sometime this week set up a fund at the Fort Jennings Bank if you prefer to donate there.
For those who have already given, of time, prayers, kind words, or money I promise it has not gone unnoticed. Thank you.

Egg Harvesting | A Word From Jen |

So today while talking with the doctor. If it is leukemia it could possibly be pre leukemia.

The plan was if I were to have chemo done to harvest some of my eggs to save so that I could have a better chance at having kids in the future.

Unfortunately due to how long it takes to prep my body for an egg harvest it would postpone any treatment. Which my doctor strongly advises against.

As hard as it is to hear that everyone person and body is different and I still may have viable eggs even after treatment.

But I also am ok with looking to other options for a family in my future.

Not the best news to hear, but I won’t let it stop me from getting better. I can become a mom on other ways but need to be healthy for that.

My transfusion went well with no side effects. I also had my CT scan this morning.

My mom is here now for the day and I have the possibility of having some visitors later today.

I am in good spirits and ready to give it my all.

Please if you can donate blood whether you are my blood type or not please do so. One donation = 4 transfusions. Although your blood may not go to me directly it will replenish what I used today or be used to help someone else in need.

Thank you for all the prayers and good vibes. I truly and blessed to have such great support.

Enjoy Life


I know we have all heard the saying ‘Life is short, so don’t waste a second of it.” But never do any of us think bad things will happen to us.

Leukemia is a word I never thought I would need to learn to spell, let alone understand. But yet here we are. I’m still holding out hope that Jen’s bone marrow biopsy points to something less scary as I know there still is that outside chance. But I am also thinking to the future dealing with all this. It is very frightening.

But I am going to make sure we make every day count and never let cancer take away us enjoying life. The first time I picked up a camera I really started understanding the words ‘enjoy life.’ I get lost in my camera sometimes. It is where I find my most peace. Somehow I hope I can still find that over the next several weeks. And I hope Jennifer can enjoy life even from a hospital room. That is all I really wish for her in this moment. Well that and to get well very soon.

I love you girl!!


Here We Go

We are at The James. They have iv started and lots of viles of blood taken. Dr Long will be looking at her blood later this evening or morning and give us more ideas what we are dealing with. They will start her on meds to protect her kidneys. Early in week they will be doing a bone marrow draw to zero in on type of leukemia and treatment plan. Columbus will become her and my home for 4-6 weeks is what they said to expect.


Update –

The doctor just came in. Looking at cells under the microscope he doesn’t see many abnormal cells. They will check her bone marrow on monday and by Tues we should have more answers.

He isn’t convinced it is leukemia but as he said …he is a hematologist not a pathologist. The doctor in Lima that looked at her smear was a pathologist. He was the one who thought leukemia. The only way to know what it is will be the bone marrow test. Keep prayers coming.

Headed To The James

Last week Jennifer broke out with large sore pimples on her body. Her blood counts came back low and over the last two weeks they have fallen. Test came back today she has Leukemia.

She was admitted to the James on Friday, November 11, 2016. We are unsure what will happen next but as we hear more will let you know.

Many prayers needed.